There was no dramatic moment when everything turned bad


Stop using my birth as your cautionary tale

My birth did not go to plan. There was no dramatic moment when everything turned bad. I had a healthy pregnancy. I canada goose coats on sale followed all the guidelines. My baby girl grew in my tummy as she should. She was born at term and looked perfect.

Except for one thing. Deep inside her brain, May had suffered a major brain injury. It could have happened during the pregnancy. It could have happened during the birth.

Yes, there were some issues a long labor, my waters broke early, canada goose uk shop there was a Strep B infection in canada goose my waters but none of those uk canada goose issues were necessarily the canada goose factory sale cause of her injury. There was no dramatic moment when a doctor ignored the signs or uk canada goose outlet forced me to do something that I knew wasn right.

From birth to two months, May in photos:

Moving forward and accepting a Canada Goose Parka future I didn anticipate was tough. But, it was made all the worse by well meaning people who, despite not being doctors themselves or canada goose store privy to my medical charts, thought they knew what had happened and weren shy about telling me.

They https://www.canadagooseparkasoutlet.ca told me how, during my pregnancy, I should not have eaten Canada Goose online that, or drank that, or exercised so much. Or, I didn eat what I should, or drink what I should, or I exercised too little. I canadian goose jacket should not have been induced or, I should have canada goose clearance sale been induced earlier. Or, or, or did people feel compelled to tell me these things? Did I not spend every night for a year, wide awake for hours, searching for why?

No one was a bigger expert on if and guilt than me.

It wasn for my benefit that people stopped me in the street to explain how if I just fed May certain foods, or carried her in a sling, or used Canada Goose Coats On Sale a pacifier or didn use a Canada Goose sale pacifier she would improve.

This running commentary cheap Canada Goose did not come from a place of love. It came from a place of fear.

Because, when something this awful happens to someone, there has to be a reason. And, as soon as that reason can be determined, it can be avoided. Rather than concern, there is the whiff of superiority in someone so obviously trying to avoid our fate.

I can tell you how many people questioned me about the birth in the first few years of her life. Even now people will still stop me and ask, went wrong with her? is the buy canada goose jacket cheap truth: it just happened. There is no reason and that must be scary.

But, before my answer sends shivers down your spine, think as well to the question no one ever asks me: How come you are so happy?

Unlike her birth, I have hardcore evidence that we are happy. Try these on for size:

We had to have the Canada Goose Online discussion, again, today with canada goose black friday sale a new nurse practitioner for our diagnostic pediatrician. She actually said the words just trying to figure out where his brain went wrong. Tires screeched and I about did too. I (I was at our OT office) explained (while our old ST looked on in horror) canada goose coats that his brain did not wrong He has issues that need a canada goose clearance little extra buy canada goose jacket help, like a child who needs tutoring to advance in math, or a dyslexic child who needs extra help in cheap canada goose uk reading. We are not interested in looking at him like a zoo exibit, we look at him canada goose uk black friday as a human with thoughts and feelings. She tried to validate what she said by telling me that something was indeed wrong or we would not be seeking help from her office. I asked to speak to our doctor and informed her that that woman would not be our nurse practitioner, I wanted our old one (who is lovely) and that she may want to educate her staff on proper bedside manor. The canada goose uk outlet doctor, luckily, agreed with me, and we won have to worry that she Canada Goose Outlet will tell my four year old that something is wrong with him.

I love your stories about your life! You have shown such love and grace to those who are hurtful or ignorant, and strengthened many women by sharing your own struggles.

This Internet site provides Canada Goose Jackets information of a general nature and is designed for educational purposes only. If you have any concerns about your own health or the health of your child, you should always consult with a physician or other canada goose outlet vancouver healthcare professional.

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